I used to have a blog website a long time ago and I fell out of love with it. I've often missed it and thought it would be a good way to get my thoughts out- I don't know how that will effect the rest of the world, but I suppose it'll be okay because not everyone in the world will read this!

I'm hoping to use this as a form of communication and reflection.

Today I'd like to talk about humble beginnings, just like this blog.

I think that the word humble is missing so much from the world today. The definition of humble defines the word as one that describes meekness, reflectivness, it is not proud or haughty, nor arrogant or agressive.

To me in a personal context, humble means awareness of self. Being concious that as human beings we are infalliably incapable of perfection and accepting that. That doesn't mean we should stop striving for the best we can attain. I think humbleness is the right balance between insane perfection and insane under achivment. I'm still trying to find that balance. I think most people are.

The word beginning is defined as the act or process of being brought into being. I agree with that whole heartedly. I think it's beautiful.

When we attempt to put the two words together, that's where it gets interesting. When asked to define the term humble beginnings most people would say starting small. I think that the term should be defined as the act or process of being brought into being with out expectation. A pattern that I noticed very recently in my life is that I always went after a goal with an outcome in mind. It rarely ever turned out like I thought it would, which wasn't always a bad thing, but my ability to be pleasantly surprised by the outcome was clouded by my dissapointment in the unfufilled expectation.
From this point forward I want to approach major goals in my life with the mindset that God knows what He's doing. All I have to do is show up and be open to His plan for my life.
As I enter this part of my life, the meat of my young adulthood between the bread of my childhood past and my "mature" adult future, I want to drop my specific expectations. I want to just live and be used as a vessel, and wake up each day with a mindset of a new humble beginning. Does this mean I can't set goals for myself? Definitly not! It simply means I will not continue to be dissapointed by placing my own parameters on my ability to grow. I expect greatness. I accept success. I decline regret. I release guilt.

And I Thank God for loving me even when I don't.