I love it when things are new. The way they smell, the way they feel. Untouched and unused, unbroken, unscarred, unscathed. Just as they were created to be.
Yeah, I like new.
So much room for expectation, so much room for interpretation. So much room when things are new. No mistakes, no I'm sorry's, nothing to clean, nothing to fix, happy endings are possible. There's a shine and a shimmer to the world, the sky is a little bit bluer, the sun a little bit brighter, the annoying things aren't so annoying. Things are good. Things are promising. Things are new. So you start.

Then what?

It goes one of two ways. You either keep the rose coloured glasses, or they fall off.

I found myself lecturing a friend today on seeing things as they really are, not how we'd like them to be. I wish I was just talking about a purse or a pair of sneakers, trust me I can have just as much if not more love for those things then the men I've been involved with in my life...
But I was talking about a boy. A boy who made her think he loved her and then left her in the dust of her own dreams.
Jerk.
What is it with people that think they can just play with someone's emotions? You can't just go to someone when YOU need them, what about when THEY need YOU? And how did society's definition of love get so blurred that girls think that because a guy says you're hot or has a lot in common with you that that means you are in love and "meant to be".
Lord, I wish it were that easy. It was when we were fifteen. All we had to do was look up the vitals on our favourtie boy bander from BackStreet Boys or Nsync and we were set- as long as they liked blue, ate corn pops, and sang lots of "I love yous" we were good to go.
Not anymore. Real life doesn't work that way. Just look at the divorce rate.
Truth is I think I'm a big hypocrite sometimes. There's always that one person that you find it really difficult to let go of. My problem is that I've held back and let that person walk away and then felt both guilt and loss. At least my pal only feels the loss.
But at any rate it hurts. She wonders why she always goes back to that same guy and tries to make things work. I'm not exactly sure why that is. I think it's cause some people want so badly to be needed. I know I do. I need people to need me. Because I'm still searching for that missing peice of confidence in myself, and in Jesus, I look to other people.
She asked me why God would do this to her. I told her it wasn't God. It was the other guy. She got quiet. Then she asked how he could know this would make her feel this way. I told her he's been doing stuff like this to people for centuries. As soon as you get close to God he pulls you away. It's what he does. I think she agreed with me. But Jesus isn't cool to some people yet. How can you trust something that isn't right in front of you, when everything that IS right infront of you has let you down? Good question.
*Lisa looks up to the ceiling* "Got an answer for it?"
Pray. Right. Keep on keepin' on.
How did life get so complicated? How did we let things get so crazy? What in heaven's name seemed good enough at the time to walk away from things we'd dreamed about when we were little girls? I'm taking that back.

I'm a princess dang it and I'm gonna find me a prince charming.

One who opens doors, loves my smile, loves God, and makes me feel safe. One who loves my mum, puts up with my sister, and includes my friends. One who wants kids, has a good job, and likes to live above the poverty line but not enough that we're spoiled. One who likes the outdoors, travel, sports, and the arts, especially music. One who loves animals, likes to cook, encourages me to see the members of my family that drive me bonkers, wants to live in a refinished house filled with antiques we bought for $20.00 at an auction. one who doesn't make fun of me when I cry at almost every movie, one whose understanding of my messed up childhood, one who can calm me down with jsut one look, a good dresser, a intellegent thinker, and a good friend. Phew. I don't think I've put all that down on paper before... I think I met him once. Maybe he'll come back. But if not, I'm sure the one for me is out there. God wouldn't put this pain in my heart if it wasn't going to equal something. So I'm open. I'm accepting resumes... :)

To my pal- some day you will see yourself as the beautiful creature God created. We are created in His image and even though you might not believe yet, He shines through your good heart and your warm smile. I'm sorry Devin wasn't what you needed him to be. I'm sorry he's not what you want him to be. I'm sorry you keep getting hurt. I promise things will get better. God promises things will get better. Just don't shut your heart off from the world. We'd all be losing out if you did that. Don't invest yourself in someone that doesn't love you for who you are, and at the same time encourages you to be better then you ever thought you could be. He doesn't know what love means. Lots of people don't. But there are men out there that do.

New things don't stay new. They wear away. They get scratched, scuffed, and torn. But some things are better quality then others and can stand the tests of time, weather and wear. Those are the things God has for you. Those are the things that won't break you. They'll bend you and test you and sometimes they'll need TLC and repair. But they will always be what they were intended to be. A favourite t-shirt you can't part with, a keepsake from a trip, a memory from your childhood. An old friend that turns into something more. Someone from your past that resurfaces. Sometimes I like worn in things better. They have much more flavour and history. Yep, the ones that last are definitly what they were intended to be.

A lifetime of a good thing.

I pray that for all of us.

L.