So-
I’ve been surprised at how many people are shocked that I haven’t ever been on a “date”. Honestly I haven’t- trust me I wish I was lying but I’m not.

So I’ve been trying to figure out why and time and time again comes the response that my confidence and my independence is intimidating…

That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard- I don’t know who reads this- if my pal Jaymee is right, then nobody does, but if any MEN are reading this….please try hard to understand that if you think that about girls then you are seriously slow…you should be happy that we don’t need your money or for you to take care of us in that sense…how frustrating for those of us who have been single for most of their lives, to hear that all the work we’ve done in making ourselves into self sufficient people is a “turn off” or a “scare off” or whatever you wanna call it.

And here I thought it was cause I was fat.
*sigh*

At any rate, I’m slowly working towards being able to ask a boy out because I’ve figured out that no one will ask me so I HAVE TO ASK THEM….ugh which is like ripping my Uggs apart in front of me…which is the same as ripping my heart out…and I think everyone is getting annoyed with me just talking about it all the time and going back and forth and then just drowning in it and getting depressed cause it doesn’t work out.

Please- don’t let him have a girlfriend! That would seriously suck if he did….SERIOUSLY!!!

This is silly, I’m 22 years old and I’m a great person and I can totally ask someone out. I can do it. I just need a moment to do it and I’ll do it. I will conquer this- if not before I turn 23, then before I turn 24 because…ACK!!! I’m gonna be 24 next year!!!! Holy crap…how the heck does that happen….oh boy….
Here’s the lyrics to an awesome song I’ve been listening to lately…


Imogen Heap- Just for now



It's that time of year,
Leave all our hopelessnesses aside (if just for a little while)
Tears stop right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride (I’m secretly on your side)

How did you know?
It's what I always wanted,
You can never have had too many of these
Will ya quit kicking me under the table?
I'm trying, will somebody make her shut up about it?
Can we settle down please?

It's that time of year,
Leave all our hopelessnesses aside (if just for a little while)
Tears stop right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride (I’m secretly on your side)

Lie down
Deep breaths
Count to ten
Nod your head


I think something is burning,
Now you've ruined the whole thing
Muffle the smoke alarm
Whoever put on this music
Had better quick, sharp, remove it
Pour me another
Oh, don't wag your finger at me

It's that time of year,
Leave all our hopelessnesses aside (if just for a little while)
Just stand right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride (I’m secretly on your side)

Get me outta here
Get me outta here
Just for now
Just for now


I LOVE that song….her live version is the best…it’s on her myspace page…check it out…
anyway...here goes nothing, I'm growing and learning and it never stops and I NEED to do this....I'm into deep now and I need to do this. For once in my life.